Mastery

Born genius? Luck? Divine intuition?

The answer is no, instead, it is the sheer willpower to excel that defines mastery. Filled with examples of great triumphs from history as well as failures, this well written and organized piece by Robert Greene greatly describes the grit required to achieve anything we dream.

The final chapter in this book, “Reversal” describes the root cause for failure in our feats:

” The reversal to mastery is to deny its existence or its importance, and therefore the need to strive for it in any way.” – Robert Greene

This statement impacted me deeply. It attacked the negative thoughts of my youth screaming that I am not worthy and it’s destiny for someone to be great. This book helped me realize my confidence in the activities that dictate my happiness. In the past, I was convinced that these activities are a waste of time, per the words of the people around me. Now, I understand that they are essential for my understanding of my role in life and how I can make a difference or participate with the world in a greater way.

I recommend this book to anyone looking for guidance in life. A direction or a sign telling them what is right or where to move forward. A very easy and informative read with plenty of examples that are relatable thanks to the explanations of Greene.

Pages: 1 2

Twins and the perspective of reality

I just finished reading a book on twins and the issues that might arise from being one and the perspective of other twins on how being a twin has affected their lives financially, socially, with relationships and other things in life.

One thing that I noted reading this book is the precision of accuracy in the statement that no one is going to understand what it’s like being a twin unless you are living as one.

Throughout my life, I’ve tried to express certain emotions and thoughts that I’ve had concerning my individuality and confusion of life. Unfortunately, no one was able to understand or begin to comprehend the enigma that I was experiencing.

I realized that I had to go about living my own way because, unfortunately, not even twin therapists will be able to guide me. It’s been hard for me, but I’ve come to trust my intuition more than in the past.

The book was a very good starting point for twins, psychologically. It creates a great base to begin thinking and acknowledging the twin dynamic. I came to a point where I questioned how useful the information was for me.

I may seem narcissistic when I say that I feel that I have surpassed the obstacles outlined in the book and am on a more advanced dilemma. I can’t escape the thoughts that the therapy we look to is only a guide to live sustainably in a society that I believe is unsustaining.

I look to the past written in books of a world that feels more real than the one we currently live. Even fiction realms provide a truer sense of reality, in my opinion.

Then again, I could just be pulling this out of the rabbit hole my depression has spiraled me into.

😂

Thank you for reading

Escape

Author’s note: My inspiration to write poetry has been very low. The ideas are just not flowing like they used to which, coincidentally, is the reason why I wanted to start writing a fiction story.

I’ve posted the prologue to it before and I will link it with this post in case you want to get a little background of what’s going on, but here is the next chapter. Please enjoy and comment on any thoughts you may have, thank you!

Prologue

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Chapter 1

Escape

As I’m walking home from my slave camp that I call my job I hear the familiar sounds of the traffic of cars and people heading home. Horns honking, screeching of worn out brakes, and yelling of curses from one driver to another.

“ Thou’s familiar with the vibes.” A phrase popular among the internet that I think to myself as I’m walking and I replay the workday I survived in my mind. Flashes of my manager yelling in frustration towards the goals he failed to achieve directed towards my coworkers and I, what a delightful movie. Safe to say, I enjoyed my walk home.

I live in a city where the sun shines year round and becomes an oven in the summer, Phoenix, Arizona. There’s been a lot of upscale changes going on in the city and it has actually become a place where people love to be. Although, I live in the west side of the city, the area in which the architects of the state shoved into a filing cabinet labeled,” We’ll deal with that later”, but ‘later’ never came. Walking through my neighborhood, I see the faces of stressed single mothers, forgotten drug addicts, and mean mugs from the hustlers of the area, a vibrant village indeed.

I’m listening to music through my earphones and an instrumental by one of my favorite music producers plays and I can’t help but attempt to freestyle over it,

“Cloudy days, never heard of ‘em 

sunny rays on my cells, burnin all of ‘em

Living in this oven, yet I’m undercooked 

Ganja is the remedy, now I’m baked and understood

 All it took, was a blaze, now I’m hooked

Like a fish, on the line…”

The attempt was there but the finish always seems to be missing.

I get a text from my friend telling me to go over and at first I decline, but then he used his manipulation tactics to sway me, those tactics being free weed of course. He lives down the street from me which always humors me because we met working at a fast food restaurant that was nowhere near our neighborhood.

I text him I’m outside five minutes before I arrive at his door because he always seems to take his time to get off his bed, or chair, or whatever it is that causes him to delay answering the door, leaving me to stand and stare at his door for an unknown amount of time. I arrive at his front door and I’m baffled! 

“This lazy pile of uncircumcised whale dick still hasn’t made it to the door! Unbelievable!” I spat.

I have a minor anger aneurism and whisper curse words under my breath as I pick up a single pebble out of the sea of rocks and prepare to throw it at his door until suddenly, his door opens. He stands at the doorway without a single expression on his face and I’m caught in an undeniably guilty position with a pebble at my fingertips and my first instinct is to defend myself.

“ Yo, this pebble weighs like a boulder bro. I was testing the pitching position to see if I can even hold it and, nah man, maybe for two seconds but that’s about it.” I relax my pose and drop the pebble back into the sea of rocks.

He can’t help but laugh at my dramatically irrational excuse. Sometimes it pays to be funny.

He speaks through his laughter,” Yo, come inside my guy. Excuse the mess, as if you haven’t seen it before.”

I follow the path cleared from the forest of trash and dirty laundry in his studio apartment and arrive to his sofa. There’s a small foldable table with a tv, game console, and marijuana paraphernalia sitting on it. He begins to roll a blunt after putting on one of his favorite cartoon shows.

“How was work bro?” He asks while packing the blunt.

I let out a sigh, close my eyes, and tilt my head back on the sofa before I reference the movie 8 Mile,” Hey man, you ever wonder what point you got to say fuck it and you gotta stop living up here, and start living down here?” I mimicked the gestures perfectly and tilted my head to him just as Marshall did in the movie.

A slight pause with eye contact and an expressionless face before he says, “ It’s seven thirty in the morning dawg.” 

We both erupt in laughter and I say to him,” That’s why I fuck with you, Nome, it’s literally the only reason.”

He responds with, “ What can I say, I’m a piece of shit, but I’m a cool piece of shit, ayy!”

When I first met Nome I didn’t really like him, in fact, he was a bit of an asshole. The feeling was actually mutual, but after we discovered that we both had a love for music at such a high intensity, the judgements we had about each other were wiped away and we became good friends. 

“ For real though, I’m tired of this life, Nome. Like, I wake up and the first thing on my mind is,’ Again?’”

“ That’s ‘cause you don’t smoke before sleeping, dawg. I promise you, smoke before you sleep and you’ll wake up seeing life on a positive outlook. Take me for example, I live my shitty life, but hey, I’m out here smiling!… Sometimes, haha!”

Nome’s definitely had it rough, really rough. He doesn’t like to talk about it much but sometimes it comes out.

“ Nah man, I’m for real ‘bout to do something with my life. I’m done with this clocking in and putting on a smile for people.”

“ Well, what are you going to do?” He asks, but I didn’t have a reply for him. All I could do is stare at the ceiling hoping an answer would etch itself onto the plaster, as creepy as it sounds.

“ I don’t know.” Three words filled with letters that carried a vast emptiness as if they were delivering bags of air labeled ‘CHIPS’ on it.

He turned to me and gave me a wide eyed look that vanished after he uttered,” Damn.” 

He pulled a lighter from his pocket and held it between us and lit the flame, ” Light the wayyyy.” He said mimicking an echo that was fading out as he lit the blunt and proceeded to smoke.

I spent the afternoon watching cartoons and writing lyrics with him until my high wore off. Once I felt tired, I parted ways and began to head home. The empty words I spoke kept repeating in my mind as I walked,” I don’t know.” They kept repeating as images of my manager and my workday flooded my mind until, at last, I fell asleep.

Prologue

Author’s note: Hey everyone, I’m beginning a new fiction story and I’ve posted the prologue to read. My goal was to capture the attention of readers with a brief yet enticing introduction to the thoughts and situation of my character. I still don’t know how long this story is going to be as I am taking it day by day, chapter by chapter. I’m honestly seeing it as a hobby when I have nothing to do or when I want to release some creative energy and add to this adventurous tale. Please comment on your thoughts and opinions and let me know if it’s something you’d be interested in reading. I’m thinking of posting each chapter here so that you can all enjoy the creative process as I work on this story. Thank you for taking the time to read, as always, I greatly appreciate it!

Prologue

Ice Breaker

Cold and rainy is a common color to the portrait of Port Orford, Oregon. The sun takes its peak sparingly through the clouds to add a dash of glitter to the ocean’s waves during the winter. A population of about twelve hundred and tourists that exceed it every year. The highway that cuts through town is famous in the summer among road-trippers trying to get away from it all. I don’t blame them, the winds and the view while driving really does help get your mind off things.

I’ve only heard of this town because I slept near its beach one day, like a log that washed ashore. I’m not from the area but I instantly fell in love, not with the town, but waking up to a different view from the view you slept to days before. The peace and beauty of the town did help with a sense of optimism with my fantasy of traveling as a nomad though.

This portrait I am describing is only the ,“Why” to it all. The reason I became the man I am and the reason behind what I have done. Sanity is like an elastic balloon getting filled with water representing life and autonomy. The balloon holds its own extremely well, but it has a limit that the water can breach. My balloon’s limit has been breached and it was at that moment when I truly discovered who I was. The mold that shaped me was destroyed allowing my identity to freely spread disease. Well, that’s the perspective of the therapists and outsiders looking in, yet, I’ve never felt so clean, so free of polluted dreams.

I took the initiative and diagnosed myself with a void of happiness. Dangerous, the word that popped into the minds of those same therapists and onlookers, and they were correct. I began with small activities to fill that void such as painting, writing, and exercising, but then I wanted more. I delve into the zodiac a bit and learned that a Scorpio has an addictive personality that is buttered up with the word, “Passion”. I began to let my life of the monetary system die away with no one to hold its head up to listen to it breathe its final words.

Once it died and I was at what was considered rock bottom, I began chugging down anything that looked like a potion to relieve me of my diagnosis. I was experimenting with psychedelics and searched for epiphanies and guidance from any messenger. Whether it was from an angel or demon, I finally found what I was looking for. The antidote, the fountain of youth, the light that fills any void within any soul, and I engulfed myself in it with no sense of moderation. Like a mother realizing their son is the complete opposite of the innocence they hoped to have raised, my guardian angel’s smile must have disappeared instantaneously when she realized the gluttony and greed exploited by my actions.

If happiness was a dessert meant to be savored, I inhaled the sweet like I’ve been starved while being forced to watch others enjoy buffets allowing not one single crumb to fall onto my tongue. I instantly salivated at the knowledge of the opportunity to quench my thirst of the long pursued tincture. I was no longer void, I was overfilled, but this glass of mine is bottomless and the cup is only poised to be full.

I’m happy, overjoyed, and too ambitious for my own good. Simple activities to distract my mind were no longer enough, I wanted thrill, adrenaline, risk. The passenger seat has become stale and the steering wheel was begging to be held. It’s begs reminded me of the beautiful women of my life morphed into one romance, creating a seduction that the devil himself prayed to resist. I am no devil nor am I a saint, I hurled myself and gripped the steering wheel to my life with an unwavering possessiveness and promised to never let go and allow the hands of another taint her skin. So it began, the beginning of my end, and what a finale it was.

Puerto Rico, Poetry Book

Hey everyone! I just wanted to update you all that I’m heading to Puerto Rico on the 9th of October! So excited! Puerto Rico is a place I’ve always wanted to go because of the culture and music!

What makes this trip special to me is that I’m taking a bit of risk to go. I am currently unemployed and am using the little savings I have to go. I’m definitely going to try to make some money so that I can have some spending money out there.

I am a bit worried about the hurricanes, so I’m hoping they are gone by the time I head out there! If not, then oh well, it’s what I signed up for 😜

I’ve still been writing every day and I’m hoping to make a breakthrough in something soon. I’ve been moving more into the music side of writing which, let me just say,  is so much fun!

My poetry book is also very close to being finished! I am having some trouble with the cover so hopefully, I deal with that soon!

Thanks for reading, I hope you all have a great day!

The Devil’s Tongue

It’s the final day of negotiations and I walk into his office with complete confidence. I sit down in his brown leather chair across from him. In between us is his desk and the final paperwork that will determine my position as well as his. I sit back and cross my leg to be more comfortable. This is more than just an exchange of words and signatures; body language, tone, and delivery all play a part.

He clasps his hands together and says,” I’m glad we could come together on an offer that we can both benefit from. I took it upon myself to finalize the paperwork and I do recall how important it was for you to have time available away from the office, and to offset that concern I doubled your pay.” He pulls out a pen from his pocket and places it atop of the paperwork, ” Whenever you’re ready.”

I bring my hand to my chin and start playing with my beard as I contemplate his statement. I close my eyes and reach an internal solution and respond,” Now the last time we talked together, we came to the understanding that I would require more time away from business to be at home. I walked out last time with an understanding that my requirements would be met.”

“Now I know how you feel, and I want you to know that I completely understand,” he replies,” With this increase in pay, you will actually be able to achieve your financial goals in a shorter period of time. I recall you telling me of your plans to invest and retire early, and with this proposal, I want to be of assistance. I am respecting your wishes and I know that you will find that your participation in our business will be of a mutual benefit. Only one signature is required from you to begin this chapter of your life, and it’s conveniently placed at the bottom of the page for you.”

My thoughts begin a battle I was not anticipating. ” He’s right, we’ll work less in the long run.”

“But then I wont be able to see my kids throughout the week, only on Sundays.”

” But you’ll have more time when you’re older, and you can move to a better location and drive a better car.”

“But you don’t need any of that. Time is more valuable.”

He interupts my thought process,” I can see you hesitate on the offer, and I want to settle your doubts, we are committed to fulfill your financial needs, and you will also be receiving paid time off throughout your time with us. Which can be used to accomodate your needs as they come. Everything requires some sacrifice, and I am certain that you are aware of that requisite. The reward for your sacrifice will be substantial and to miss out on this opportunity would be a pity that everyone here would hate to see.”

My eyes refuse to leave his. I feel as though he has total control of my body’s movements. His speech slows down and his suggestions become commands,” Pick up the pen and sign your name on the X.”

My body responds and my hands reach for the pen. It’s all happening slowly right before my eyes! I touch the thick pen which appears to have been dipped in gold and hold it in writing pose. Without leaving each other’s gaze, he guides my hand to the X with his and places the pen at the starting point.

What is going on? Why can’t I refuse or accept at my own will? His smile, it’s no longer the genuine smile I saw when I first walked in. At the observation, my hand autonomously forged my signature and he pulled the documents away from me.

His words become inaudible and my lips reactively smiles and my hands shake his. I walk out of the office not knowing what it was I signed, for all I know

I could have very well just signed my life away.

Lou

*whistle blows*

Everyone from the break room ceases their conversations and thoughts. They look up to the guards of the institution responsible for their social conditioning. Although the people don’t quite understand the psychology, they know enough to know that they are being controlled by the guards.

“Who are they protecting?” They would always ask. Some of the veterans of the institution would speak of the ” Back in my day…” conversation, but instead of being ignored, the opposite would occur. Everyone would swiftly silence a perpetrator of interrupting the speaking veteran.

Today happened to be one of those days. One of the veterans remained in his seat waiting for everyone to disperse out of the room, meanwhile, he said,

” Back in my day, there were no questions about who the guards were protecting. But these days, I can’t tell if we are the package or the threat.

The guards would have life in their eyes and joy on their faces, but now, I see hate and disgust.

When did we get to this point?”

There was a group of people crowding the door, stopping to listen to the veteran. They looked at each other not breathing a word, then looked down and proceeded through the exit.

As they continued dispersing through the exit, the veteran had unfinished thoughts protruding through his skin causing him to shake with anxiety. He closes his eyes and tears begin to sprint down his face. He clenches his teeth and wrinkles detail his face. He stands, keeping his eyes shut and his face down.

“What happened to freedom?!”

A silent shock stains the room.

“What happened to Everything I’ve worked for!?

What happens Now!?”

His words carry the pain his soul has silently endured. He’s been employed by the system for 30 years, and each year they’ve delayed his departure.

*Intercom turns on.

The voice from the intercom reads*

“Lou. Head back to your office, you are causing a delay. I won’t repeat myself.”

*Intercom turns off*

Lou clenches his fists while keeping his head down and letting his tears dribble to the ground. As the crowd of people began returning to their offices, Lou quickly punches the wall next to him with a perfect posture of a boxer, causing everyone to return their attention to Lou.

Lou’s hand begins to bleed from the force of his punch. He yells again.

” All you sheep will repeat history!

All of you!

Unless you, brave soul hidden amongst the crowd of the fearful, take action and plant tomorrow’s seeds for change!

Let me be the reason!

Let me be the Martyr!

Let me be of some value to your life!…

… As well as Mine.”

The room is frozen for 1 long slowed second. A masterpiece etched into the eyes of those who witnessed this moment.

Suddenly, Lou bolts towards a group of metal chairs that lay in front of a window overseeing a sunset that paints the sky and the city with purple and orange. He grabs one of the chairs and throws it at the window, causing it to shatter. He continues running towards the broken window.

“LOU, NO!!!” One of the young men yells from the crowd as he runs after him.

Lou jumps through and while in mid-air, he turns to look at the young man and points at him saying the words,” You’re Free.”

Lou falls 20 stories to his death. In the papers, it is remembered as the most embarrassing death in the city’s history.

In the office among the shackled legs, it’s a constant reminder that the revolution for change has already begun.

La Luna and Sun

The valley is too dry for morning dew

The sun is too excited to hold back,

But a radiating soul can cause on others a bad mood

The spirit of the sun flies high

There are no limits when you can look up,

Even when you’ve reached the sky

The sun once lived like us on ground

But something always begged him to move,

He traveled by foot following the sounds

They led him to an ocean past the pacific

A journey passed down as prolific,

Leaving a taste of wanderlust they call exquisite.

He embarked on a ship to reach the source,

The young captain of the ship confused by the sun’s question,

He’s never sailed past his usual course.

“Nonetheless! Adventure is my middle name!

I refuse!… To ever refuse a promising quest!”

The captain yelled and excitedly claimed.

That night,

The waves were rolling deep!

The ship rocked too violent for sleep!

Was this a mistake?! Is there still a way to leave?!

No.

Fear is the killer of souls and dilutes it’s shine

Choosing this path is a destiny,

Like the captain, the Sun refuses fear this time.

Charcoal clouds and heartless rain cover the sky,

The horizon! A titanic wave can be seen forming!

Eye contact from both, knowing adventure’s risk to die.

In that moment,

The Young Captain removes his hat,

To the sun’s surprise,

A fierce woman!

At the brink of death, there’s more that meets the eye!

The captain yells to the sun while steering the ship,

” Luna! remember my name!

Old men regret their path to die,

Take it from me,

To choose your death is the way of life,

On my ship,

Fear!…

Crumbles and always will die!

Only the brave step foot on her wooden planks!

We run towards what excites us with no question why!”

She looks at the sun and says,

“Mortals sink and mortals swim, but we

Are beyond that life and choose to fly!”

Without a hesitation in mind,

The captain opens the ship’s sails and the ship charges for the wave!

The wind, The sun, and Luna,

They scream in unison as they climb up towards the lightning rays!

Sailing into and past the clouds,

They’ve reached the wave’s top but the ship continues to fly!

Loud and clear, they’ve reached the sounds

It’s everything that The Sun had hoped for,

The graves of dreamers screaming from cemetery grounds,

Joyous screams as they watched the young soul fly

They lived their dreams through him,

And now they rest easy,

Knowing La Luna and Sun,

Light the sky.

About me

I wanted to update everyone.

First off, I want to thank everyone that has given my page and I a moment of their time. I completely understand the small sacrifice we all have to give to read the work of someone we do not know.  As my consistent readers may know, I focus most of my writing on poetry, but I am currently working on a short story. I am excited for this project because it will be my first published work. I am going to self publish this piece and I ask anyone that found interest in my writing to support me with this short story.

The story is called Spoils of War, but nothing is concrete yet. I want to give a small synopsis of the story.

A group of friends live in Phoenix, Arizona and one of the friends chases an opportunity to make a large amount of money by supplying the leaders of corporate america an idea that can change the economy. He presents them his idea of a credit card and the leaders fall in love with it and offer their once in a lifetime deal. The friend, Omar, accepts the deal and leaves Phoenix and his friends and family. Fast forward two years and everyone is in debt. Of the group friends, Vince disagreed with the credit card idea because he knew that people would not be responsible with them. His friends and his community are all relying on their jobs to pay off their debt and some of his friends lost businesses and opportunities. Vince decides that only he sees what’s gone with the world and decides to change it.

There are other details that will go into the story that I’ve dedicated myself to accomplish. I am the type of person that does not like to do things unless I’m passionate about it.

I will continue to post poetry on this page as well as any updates to this piece. I appreciate any and all feedback and once again, thank you for taking the time to read my work.

The Hunt

There are no rules here, no instructions.

All you have is your wits and your instincts.

I move slowly using the wind as my camouflage and the trees as my cover

My prey does not notice my pursuit, but I never underestimate my game,

They are quick to realize when they are being hunted.

My weapon is a bow and some arrows. There’s no better satisfaction for me than a silent kill.

I am in the perfect position to make it clean as my prey stops for a drink from a pond.

I load my bow with an arrow and pull the bowstring back to prepare the arrow for flight.

This is the moment where the heart beats at an optimal rate. The world is in the palm of your hands and you feel everything around you. This is the hunter’s world.

As I am about to release the arrow, I hear a loud snarl behind me and suddenly I am pounced by a bear. This whole time as the hunter, I was being hunted by a different predator. There is no honor amongst thieves as well as predators. As he darts his teeth to my throat, I close my eyes and find myself thrusting my body upwards towards the bear. I open my eyes and I am suddenly in a bedroom. I am dripping in sweat and realize that it was all a dream.

They say that memories of your past lives are presented in dreams. As I lay in my bed thinking about the thrill I just had, I can’t help but to feel misplaced in this world of monetary monotony. Is my spirit caged in this life as a punishment for failing that hunt? Am I living in hell as a citizen of modern times?

My next hunt will provide no mistakes and total reward. From this point on, I refuse to live a life of a consumer. I am a hunter in spirit and I will reap my rewards as my spirit demands.